How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
