CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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