dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
