Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize