i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
