Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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