She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
