Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
