You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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