You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
