I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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