she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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