Someone shit on the floor
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
