cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
