I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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