mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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