dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
