Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize