Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
