Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
