whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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