I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize