They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
