When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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