hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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