10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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