Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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