my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize