I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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