Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
