My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
