you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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