Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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