do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize