NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
