OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
