Nicole vs. Life
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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