I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis