He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.