Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
