woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize