Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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