You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
