I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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