Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize