You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
