Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize