I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
