He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
