I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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