Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
