The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize