everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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