please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize