You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
