I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
