Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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