i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
