So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
whose parrot is this?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
