i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
