Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
