Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
