Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
