i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
