We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
