i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
